When some people hear about my illness, they tell me if I just pray hard enough, God will heal me. That I must not let the devil take control of my mind. Let’s get one thing straight. I have an illness, I am not possessed by the devil although I’m sure it may look like it sometimes. I have an illness in my brain just like someone might have diabetes or hypothyroidism. Taking medications for any illness doesn’t make you weak. Choosing to fight it makes you strong. Just like someone who takes beta-blockers for high blood pressure may help save their life, my medications help save mine. I do believe that God can and may heal me, but in the mean time I have to live, take care of myself and my family. I pray everyday. Don’t tell me I’m not getting better because I’m not praying hard enough. I left a church because of judgement. I was told to pray harder. How about instead you pray for me. On the days that are so bad that I can’t pray enough, your prayers could be what gets me through. How about you love instead?